The title really resonated with me and reminded me of all the times that I was angry. It truth, angry is not how I would put it, it was more like seething rage. I would come suddenly or it would build up suddenly; in the end, i would wind up having to either sit down or lay down because I was seeing black spots, I was unable to breathe as the rage welled up to the point that it felt like my head was going to blow up like a volcano.
I look back now at all the time spent raging inward and raging outward and think of all the time wasted. Don’t get me wrong, raging outward was not about being violent or anything like that but, rather, it was time spent feeling all the seething, bottled-up anger. Being Hispanic means that I pretty much wear my feelings on my skin and having being raised catholic means that I was “supposed” not to feel anger or hatred.
While I could always bounce back, I was going back and forth so much that I was spending my time and energy in trying to stay stable rather than getting to the root of the problem. It was not until I could finally let go and allow myself to feel the anger and accept the rage that I could begin to see my way clear. It took me most of my life to understand what Craig talks about in his article – “own” your anger.
While I have come a long way, there are still areas that I am still working on. The difference now is that I can be angry without the seething, roiling rage. I now feel comfortable accepting that part of me, accepting when I’m angry and the reasons for it.
In the process, the amazing thing that I have learned is that not everything is my problem, responsibility or fault. I no longer feel obligated to “fix” everything that I see as wrong. I have learned to do something that I find very empowering; I have learned how to re-define the problems and issues and own up to my part of it, and only my part of it.
What do you think?
Have you had problems with anger?
Have you been able to overcome them?
What was your process, how did you work through it?