As a baby boomer, we are part of a generation that has seen gut-wrenching social change. While, in general, there have been many positive things come out of the changes, there have also been casualties. One of the things that is still changing and evolving is men’s role in society and in the family.
It is one thing to discuss this as an intellectual exercise and quite another to live it in all its gut-wrenching and, at times, traumatic pain. Having had personal experience with this, I can tell you that the process will mark you and, in some ways, define you.
So, what does all this have to do with “where do you live?” Traumatic events can “live on” in our minds long after the events are over. This is particularly so if the trauma has occurred over a long period of time (such as an abusive relationship).
When I read Craig’s article and his question, I began to ask myself “where do I reside?” After several days, I finally got an answer that both amazed me, and I did not like one bit. The answer I got was “I reside in the place of death.” Needless to say, not fun at all! However, actually voicing this and being honest about it caused a tremendous change in me almost instantly.
When I voiced the answer, I could see that it was the root cause for so many other things in my character that I knew I had made a breakthrough. Almost instantly, I could see this “fortress” crumble as I became empowered and realized I was no longer under its yoke. I can’t tell you how liberating it feels to be able to look at this thing and say “you no longer control me!”
Now comes something that will probably be difficult but, a lot more fulfilling and constructive. Now, I get to start the process of changing a lifetime’s worth of behavior based on “the fortress.” Here’s the thing – however hard or difficult it may be, it feels pretty good to be in control!
What do you think?
Where do you “live?”
How has your process gone?
Are you still searching for the answer?